Police Blotter Mania

by | Apr 19, 2024 | Home Life

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A few months ago, I began writing a column for the Stillwater County News.  It’s called “Ramblings by Miss Gail” and I am having a lot of fun with it. The SCN is a small, county newspaper, a weekly, and fun to read. It has all the local news, like the comings and goings of the county commissioners, anticipated road repairs, high school sports, local obituaries and things people in this small town are interested in. No Biden or Trump, no national issues, like abortion or the border wall, just down-to-earth news for local folks, like me. It also has the “Police Blotter.”  Oh, my, that’s where the police report all the juicy, loosie stuff that occurs in Stillwater County, Montana. 

So, I thought I’d tell you about a couple of them that I found interesting. These are mostly true.

A citizen called the police about a woman who was in her yard, barefoot, walking around and talking to herself. She had lain down in the grass, making snow angels. It’s April, sunny, but chilly, maybe 40 degrees, so perhaps it was a good thing that a call went into the police. “I’m earthing,” she said. The police told her to put her shoes on and go home and that was the end of that episode. I didn’t know what “earthing” was, so looked it up and learned that the earth/green grass/water provides electrons to the body which are necessary for something, I’m not sure what. I should have paid more attention in Mr. Bloom’s physics class. Snow angels are fun, and I have a new word to think about: Earthing.

Another citizen expressed concern about a 12-year-old boy who rides his bike “all the time.” Now, that doesn’t seem like a problem to me. At least, he was outside, not staring at a small, black, rectangular box, with slumped shoulders walking across a busy intersection, oblivious to the outside world. Hurrah for him! I like him!

Then there was a found chihuahua wearing a quilted winter jacket. Now that’s worthy of police attention. In Montana. A chihuahua. Wearing a quilted winter jacket. I hope he got back home and a stylish jacket for a chihuahua is probably a good idea. In Montana.

Another reader phoned the police about someone throwing rocks at his security cameras. They didn’t know who. Did the security cameras work? The police said they would patrol the area more often and advised them to “get extra cameras.”  I’m shaking my head at that one. Perhaps the old cameras just needed new batteries.

A call went into the police about screaming from a van at the gas station and a man “hanging onto the side.” For the life of me, I can’t envision somebody hanging onto the side a door at a gas station, but minutes later, the woman drove off, and he walked back to the gas station.  It gives new meaning to the term “hung out to dry.”

A few weeks ago, a naked guy wandered down the highway, looking for a beach, I guess.  I began to laugh and wanted to tell the Cowboy about this one…but I couldn’t find him…Uh-Oh…where was the Cowboy and why was the Deputy in our front yard?  Earthing, no doubt. Ah, Montana.


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Gail Cushman:
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