Wrinkly Bits
A Blog by Gail Cushman
I had exactly three hats when I moved to Montana, two USMC hats and a plain hat with no writing, just a baby blue ball cap to keep the sun out of my eyes. I had lived in Idaho for a long time, and didn’t require anything more. So, now, five years in Montana, the number has jumped to 42, actual count. How did that happen?
It’s the Cowboy’s fault. He probably has an equal number of ball caps and a dozen cowboy hats, always with room for one more. I must be truthful, though, when we travel, I like to wear a hat. I never know what kind of situation I might be in and need to ward off sun, rain, or scare bears, but that would be in Montana. I surveyed the whole bunch to figure out if I could give some away, but I am not doing well. Here are some of the results: Paris ball cap: we got married in Paris, so nope. An authentic Panama hat which was made in Ecuador…a story for sure, so keeping it. A Marine Corps cap made in Vietnam, which makes me laugh because although Vietnam won the war, they assumed capitalism, after all. Keep it. King Ropes in Sheridan, Wyoming, they have great hats, sloped the way I like them, and they fit well and make me look like a real Montanan. I love my King Ropes caps and I’m keeping all three. I have two boat caps, one says “Skipper” the other “First Mate,” plus two heavy duty rain caps, all for our boat trips. Keep. My Mao hat, from my near arrest in China and Mao might ask for it back, but it was made in America. Go figure. St. Louis Cardinals, so far, it’s a keeper, but if they don’t start winning more, it’ll go out. Cuba, but I’m not sure what to do about it. There’s a story somewhere, so I’ll keep it.
I also have a small collection of Cowboy hats. Cowboy kindly donated a straw hat, with a sweatband covered with actual sweat, and it may convince people I actually work. Last year, I bought a fancy Cowboy hat. Beaver felt and it fits well. I can decorate it for Christmas or Valentines’ Day with a festive red and white head band and look spiffy. I currently have a feather stuck in the band, long and pretty, but I don’t know what kind of bird it is, probably turkey, but definitely not an eagle.
And then, there are stocking caps, which are a problem for me, and here is a true story. I don’t have one. I knit in my spare time, and through my life, I have made hundreds of stocking caps and given them to kids. Knitting wards off my arthritis, so its therapeutic. I didn’t keep one.
When I arrived in Montana, Cowboy said, “I love your stocking caps. Would you make one for me?” Why, sure. I can be an over-achiever, so I made four. They are identical, resembling the Hudson Bay blankets, ivory-colored sheep wool with blue, yellow, red, green stripes. I lined all four of them with Qiviut, (Musk Ox fur) that my son in Nome, Alaska, sent me after his most recent Musk Ox hunting trip. Qiviut is the warmest, softest wool in the world. Very pricey, as in $100+ an ounce, but luckily, I didn’t have to buy it. But then, one winter day, one of those Montana -36 degree days, I thought, “He’s got four, I’ll borrow one and use it. He’ll never know. I searched the house…No caps. Where in the dickens had they gone? I made four, had he tossed ‘em? Sold ‘em? Given ‘em away. Lined some bird nest with ‘em?
“Okay, Cowboy, I need a cap. Where are they?”
He looked at me as if I wanted him to shower in ice water filled with porcupine quills. “They are safe, don’t worry.”
“Well, where are they? You have four. Surely, you can get by with three.”
He went into his office and slowly opened his locked gun vault, one of those heavy-duty safes, double lined with steel, and filled with his guns and knives. Way…that is waaaay in the back, under his most precious knives and revolvers, he pulled the caps out, one at a time. I was puzzled, “Why are your stocking caps in the vault?”
“I don’t want anybody to steal them, the same as my other valuables.” Well, for sure it was a compliment, but really? Stocking caps?
Enough about hats! Cheers. Check out my new book, Marrying Montana, Soft Cover, Kindle, Kindle Unlimited FREE delivery Monday, September 7.
