Wrinkly Bits
A Blog by Gail Cushman
When I think of geese, I think of “V” formations above me, flying south for the winter or north for the summer. But I also think of nasty, green goose poop on the ground below me. Geese are usually in groups, (gaggles they are called), so snatching up six geese a-laying would be easy for Cowboy Bob, my true love, to do.
Geese and the words that go with them are rather disrespectful, in my humble opinion. Geese waddle. Geese honk. A person who is called a goose, would be a nincompoop, ninny, simpleton, or ding-a-ling. A Canada goose is not a Canadian goose. I’ve been corrected many times.
But wait, six geese a-laying, wowzer, that means six new goose eggs every morning. Not goose eggs like a football score but six big eggs with shells and yolks and everything. I’m not very fond of eggs, so who would I give my six goose eggs to? By the end of the week, I would have almost four dozen damn goose eggs, and I am sure my few neighbors would suddenly disappear when my pickup arrives with their daily goose egg allocation. Or is it geese egg?
So, Cowboy, this is the thing. You already gave me quite a few birds, so let’s think of something I’d really like. Head over to Dillards and buy six of almost anything, (jewelry comes to mind, maybe that Prada perfume) and it will top your idea of bringing six waddling, honking, pooping, egg-laying, brainless geese to your true love.
Just to remind you, since we went to Paris, I have gotten into scarves, silk ones, not the six for $20 polyester scarves that I bought from the Viet Nam street vendor. Scarves are a cowgirl’s dream. You can instantly change a plain T-shirt into a fashion statement with a colorful silk scarf. I recently bought a black T-shirt in Walmart for $1.00…one dollar as in ten dimes or 100 pennies. Bingo. Add a scarf and it looks like I went shopping at Neiman’s and I’m all dressed up for our Friday night date at the 307. What better? Maybe you could find six scarfs with geese, I’ve seen drawings of geese that are quite artistic, and I think Tractor Supply has a silk scarf rack. Think, Cowboy, think!
My first book series, the Wrinkly Bits series, is about active, retired seniors who indulge in travel and always seem to get into trouble. I wrote four books in the series and people continue to tell me they make them laugh! They are quick reads, funny, and available on my website or on Amazon. gailcushman.com
