Just when I think I am as adept as Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg at using technology, somebody throws me a curve ball. My WrinklyBits.com website needed a facelift (don’t we all?) and I found a couple young women who talked both tech and plain English and now I’m getting a new website, which will go live, hopefully, Friday, January 25. That is right around the corner, and I’m getting nervous.
These lovely young women, who were probably in their thirties but born long after we watched Alan Shepard hit a golf ball on the moon, showed me this and that and used a lot of tech words that I didn’t know, so I Googled “internet tech words” knowing I could increase my tech vocabulary so that they wouldn’t think I was completely daft. I found a simple website called Skillcrush, which should have been my first clue that I was totally out of my league.
The site had a long list of terms and definitions, ninety-nine, to be exact. That seemed too many to comprehend in one sitting, so I leafed through, oops scrolled through, trying to find some words that I already knew. I actually found a few!
I knew front-end and back-end developer, because what seventy-five-year-old woman hasn’t gazed in the mirror, frowned and said, “I need a front- and back-end developer,” and sworn to head to the gym more often. Not that it really happens, mind you.
Bugs, of course, I know bugs and I can easily find a company to chase away spiders and centipedes and roaches. Shudder.
Tracking, well, Daniel Boone was a tracker, just check the history books, but a mood board, I’m not so sure about, but I’ve heard of mood rings and mood watches and even mood fabrics, but a mood website? The term engagement is now a tech word, but I like the old definition, where two are on the path to getting married, like my friends, Beccie and Patti. Bounce has always been affiliated with basketball, you know how many bounces you make before you shoot the ball toward a basket. That’s a no-brainer.
Other terms were not listed, even though my website designers used them. I guess these young women don’t understand that my definitions for these words is quite different from theirs. For example, bytes (which, BTW, should be spelled b-i-t-e-s) is something done with teeth. Trojan, shush, that’s found in the personal section of the drug store, and we don’t talk about it in public. Worms are similar to nightcrawlers, good for fishing and aerating lawns.
Memory is something that begins to fade away when I reached a certain age, possibly improved by taking fish oil tablets or Prevagen and even then, my memory is, what was that word again, I forget. And spyware, that’s something that foreign agents use. And a gig, exactly what is that? I think it means gigabyte, but so far, no one can tell me anything about it, (you know, it’s a gig), but what does it look, feel, taste, or smell like? Nobody knows!
My new website is called gailcushman.com and if all goes well, it will help me to communicate better with people who read my blogs, books, and other important Gail-type information. People will be able to buy my books directly from this site, which will give me a whole bunch of new e-commerce techno words to learn. Wish me luck!
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