This has been an eventful week, and frankly I’m glad it’s over. It was one of those weeks when I had to make a lot of phone calls, you know the ones. You dial the number, it rings, a computer voice comes on and tells you that this call “may be recorded for training purposes,” and you have following choices. They then recite a series of numbers and options that I forget by the time I get to the 8th or 9th number, so I listen again, and randomly choose one that might possibly be the answer for my question. After guessing who might answer the question, I select that button on my phone, it rings, and I listen to another voice telling me that “this may be recorded for training purposes.” And then the phone rings and I hear someone that speaks more languages than I do, and more often than not this person cannot answer my question and they send you to their supervisor, who listens to my problem and offers to transfer me to customer service or troubleshooting department, and then the line goes dead, and I have to start over.
Dealing with local companies is not much better. I’m in the middle of selling my house and had to make a bunch of phone calls to various vendors and suppliers to satisfy my realtor. I knew I would need to set aside a few hours, wouldn’t you think two hours would be ample 10—12, I’d be done by noon? Before dialing anyone, I dug out the various receipts, lined them up in order of importance, checked phone numbers and addresses, verified hours of operation, affirming they would be open when I called. I tried to find the name of an actual living, breathing person, so that I could expedite the task, but actual names are rare. I was ready. I was set. Go! This would be easy, and I’d probably have time to write a blog when I got done. Uh rah, we Marines say.
I dialed up the first one, and heard this, “No one is available to take your call right now, but your call is VERY important to us, so please leave a message after the beep.” Sometimes there is a beep, other times the recording goes silent. The message giver always stresses the word VERY, that’s why it’s in caps. I’m sure you know that message by heart and if I am so danged important, why doesn’t someone answer the blooming phone. My first call was to the power company, followed by the insurance company, followed by the gutter cleaning company, the city, the gas company, the bank, the insurance company, and my ever-lovin’ post office. Each one in turn.
I’m kinda lying here because at times someone actually answered the phone, the “Gatekeeper,” the person in charge of keeping me from getting to the person I need. Whether it was a recording or not, they all had the same message and I wondered if they sent people to school to learn to recite the message flawlessly. “The person who handles this is not available right now. Leave your number and I’ll have him call as soon as he gets off the other line.” I heard from no one. Although at the end of two hours, I had talked to exactly one person, the city, who called me back after lunch.
In this society where everyone has a cell phone propped in front of their face, talking in their cars, restaurants, and even in movie theatres, why can’t that gatekeeper or computer answering system just reach out and flash a message across their screen, “Hey! Miss Gail is important and waiting!” And Voila! I get an answer. What the heck are all these people talking about? Shoot, I have a problem, I am old and running out of time, let’s get with it!
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