I’m not exactly Lady MacBeth, but she and I may have the same problem. I recently did the cataract removal thing and am proud to report that I can see everything I need to see and somethings I don’t need to see, like spider webs and window smudges. Last week, I even saw a bald eagle sitting in a tree about ½ mile away and noted the variance in the shades of his white feathers. Woo-hoo! Previously, I had not been able to see the eagle, nor the tree for that matter. I am still in awe over my new sight!
My appearance has always been secondary to the rest of me and as a child, I learned not to look in the mirror ever as it was a scary sight. I avoided the mirror, in fact, I didn’t always have a mirror, just winged it. Nobody ever complained, least of all me. But not all is well that ends well.
The cowboy said my eyes were green, but the last time I looked, they were hazel and I wondered if the doctor had swapped out the old for the new, somewhat like changing lightbulbs or batteries in the flashlight. The eye surgery gave me a new perspective on life, and I thought that maybe I should see what my eyes looked like, after all I hadn’t really seen them in years. After both eyes began to see things crystal clearly, I made the mistake of asking the cowboy to install a makeup mirror. Big mistake, I mean BIG mistake.
Since I got the mirror, I have developed a new eye problem. I’ve never thought about my skin or eyes or anything else attached to my face, and regularly rubbed some lotion into my skin. Good enough, I said. I always assumed that my skin was smooth and even and all the same color, except for a spot on my ear, which had always been a couple shades darker. Not to worry, though, I could mask it with makeup easily enough and who looks at my ear anyway? And I didn’t have any eye bags, or at least none to worry about, maybe a little bit, but that was hereditary from Field Marshal Von Emeline. It’s a German thing and I can’t do anything about it.
Now, since my eyes see EVERYTHING under the sun, my skin has changed. I have suddenly developed massively discolored skin, baggy eyes, and splotches. Yes, splotches. And a whole bunch of things I don’t want. They might have been there for a while, but I haven’t noticed them…couldn’t see them. And what do I do?
I complained to the eye doctor who paused for a minute before answering, “Hemorrhoid cream for the bags. It’ll work wonders.” Good grief. That seems obscene. She didn’t know about spots and splotches, so I made an appointment with the dermatologist. We’ll see what he will recommend. Typing white-out for the splotches? Or a bag on my head? I burst into tears, but the cowboy was kind as always. “You look fine as you are, but you can always get some makeup. Maybe look at the Tractor Supply Store in the horse show section, they have mane tamers and hoof treatments, all kinds of do-dads and the cowgirl section always has a bunch of young ladies hanging around so maybe you can ask one of them. Just don’t follow Oprah and start with the nightly mayonnaise masks and hairnets, you are as lovely as I first met you, don’t change a thing.”
Cataract surgery is a miracle, for sure, but it comes with its risks. I hope I don’t crack the mirror before I get used to the new look. Look what happened to Lady MacBeth.
All of Gail’s books and blogs, plus the Cowboy Bob stories are on Gail’s website…gailcushman.com.
