Add this to my ever-growing list of sags and bags: my earlobes. I’ve never been accused of being cute, it never made the list of descriptors of Gail’s highly intriguing assets, but if someone had ever asked me what my cutest asset was (no one ever did), I would have said my ears. Small, perfectly formed, no lumps or disfigurement whatsoever. They didn’t flake or drip or slobber or do anything that would gross me or anyone else out. They were ears and they did their job of taking in sounds, which made listening and learning easy. In the fifth grade, I added a duty to them, and they began holding up my glasses and never complained a bit. I gave them a reprieve when I got contacts years later, and I’m sure they were happy, but they didn’t thank me or anything.
I pierced my ears about that same time, but again, my cute ears, did not complain. I thought they enjoyed the adornment and made my ears even cuter, and I have acquired a bunch of interesting earrings with stories about many. You should ask me about my baboon earrings.
About ten years ago, my daughter, sweet child that she is, told me in no-uncertain-terms, that I was deaf and needed hearing aids, and since she’s not someone to argue with, I went to the audiologist, and of course, she was right and I acquired hearing aids, and once again my cute ears came to the rescue, holding up my helpful hearing aids. By this time, I was back to glasses, so my sweet ears had a trifecta of jobs, but they still didn’t complain.
Then, Covid-19 hit, necessitating an additional duty for my ears, anchoring a mask, which meant my small, cute ears were suddenly burdened with four jobs and with this additional duty, they complained, itching and flaking and sometimes hurting, but still did their job. I found a couple lotions they liked, and before long, they stopped protesting.
Masks are thankfully mostly in the review mirror and my ears should have sprung back to normal, but they didn’t. All the extra duties did them in, and now they are giving into gravity, just like the rest of my body, and I can no longer define my ears as cute. There might be help, though. Yesterday my email brought me a remedy, suggesting a cure for ED, which has to mean Earlobe Drooping, right? I’ll get on it right away.
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