A couple years ago, I bought a Keurig, great coffee, easy peasy, and I loved it
For about a week.
One sunny morning, ready for coffee, it stopped working. I had bought it at the big box C store and decided to take it back. Luckily the recycling guys hadn’t shown up yet to take my recycling packaging to wherever they deposit it, so I decided to return my new toy, not sure if they would let me return it, but they were most congenial, and assured me that I was the only one who ever returned a Keurig, and they found another one, a couple upgrades higher, on sale, $50 off, so it was a boondoggle for me. They sent me on my way. I’ve had it about a year now and enjoy it every day. One cup early, one cup later, and when I have the need, I’ll guzzle a third.
A few months ago, a light came on, “Time to Descale” it said. I had always used vinegar to descale my old Mr. Coffee, which was an excellent coffee maker. I found the directions, but I needed a Keurig descaling solution, available from another big box, the BBY store. I made a trip to that store, but they were fresh out, so I ordered it online from the A store, the biggest store ever, and they speed-delivered it to me in two days flat. In the meantime, I pulled out my old coffee pot, which worked just fine. When the solution finally arrived, I found my magnifying glass to read the directions, which were written in four languages, English, Spanish, French, and Chinese and followed the directions as best I could, given the size of the print, and going step-by-step started to descale. This occurred before the Cowboy was a regular at my house in Boise, so I was tasked with the descaling process. After the solution arrived, I started descaling, and two days later, give or take eight hours it was descaled and I was on track with good coffee, once again.
Then today it happened once again, it stopped working. “Time to Descale,” flashed at me, and I groaned to the Cowboy. “The last time I was without Keurig coffee for about four days, a trip to BBY and an order from Amazon. I need coffee now, not later this week.”
He said, “It can’t be that hard. I’ll fix it lickity split, besides you should drink less coffee.”
He obviously didn’t know the severity of the situation, so I pulled out the big guns, “If we can’t get this thing working today, I’m not going to Paris.”
With that comment, he knew I meant business. “No problem, I’ll do it for you, it can’t be that hard. I’ve got this.”
I pulled out the magic descaling solution, two bottles. “Not the right type,” he said. “It doesn’t say Keurig on the label.” He turned on a YouTube show and began to watch something called “How to Descale Your Keurig.” How fun is that? Not quite sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
“You should watch it, too, great stuff,” so I rolled my eyes and watched. It explained how to descale the exact model Keurig that I have. It was great stuff. Simple. Anybody could do it.
I was writing in my writing mode, so went back to work, leaving Cowboy in his fix-it mode. Four hours later, I heard banging, I mean banging, like a hammer on a piece of metal, and thought I should check. Maybe he had fallen or something. The Keurig was mostly upside down and in pieces with all the parts on the counter, in no particular order. “Are we going to Billings to buy a new one?” I asked innocently.
He frowned, “I’m almost done, but it wouldn’t turn on, so I watched a second YouTube, called ‘How to Turn on Your Keurig After Descaling.’ I watched two other Keurig movies, but they didn’t do any good, so now I’m just following directions. I did the first part, but now I need a couple tools for the second part. Hold this right here,” and he disappeared to the garage. Remembering that he has nineteen giant toolboxes, plus a few wayward tools that won’t fit in the boxes, I thought it might be a while, but I patiently held the part. He returned soon with one medium-sized toolbox, general tools, that anybody could use, and before long they were laid out in a row, like a doctor about to perform surgery. The Keurig was in about eighteen pieces. Seriously. “The directions said to turn it upside down, bang it, and take it apart to find the reset button. It’s right here, I found it.” He pointed to a little white button, deep within the bowels of the Keurig. I never would have found it.
So, if your Keurig ever needs descaling, you can watch the YouTube videos or call the Cowboy. He’s got this.
I’m not sure why descaling can’t be as easy as making the coffee, but anyway, it worked, and it took only four hours. I have good coffee, and now we can go to Paris! Hurrah.
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