Wrinkly Bits
A Blog by Gail Cushman
I am not a dancer, but then, I have a lot of issues. I have clumsy feet, a tin ear, a non-working sniffer, not to mention being directionally challenged, but yesterday I danced. Here’s what happened.
Cowboy and I decided to finish up our Christmas shopping. The sun was out; the skies were blue and no snow to give me the I-90 snow-drive willies. A perfect day. We headed to Cabella’s. They are a solid store with all kinds of good stuff, not too pricey, and all in all, it can be a one-stop shop. We had several items to buy, so took our time. What would Kristen like? What would Corey like? “Aaron’s cowboying on a ranch, so he’s easy,” Cowboy said. So, we quick-stepped through the store, like we had never danced before. We heaped our shopping cart to the gills, if shopping carts had gills, that is.
We started for the car and wowzer, we were smacked by the Windstorm of the Year. First, the wind caught the shopping cart and nearly tipped it over, throwing a bag of newly purchased duds sailing toward the second parking lot. I hung on to the cart for dear life, dancing the Flamenco to stay upright and aimed for the nearest car, hoping the wind wouldn’t push me to the ground and I wouldn’t dent somebodies’ car or break something important. I clutched my cowboy hat with a vengeance because I could see it was ready to hip-hop out of reach and I jammed it into the cart under some of our purchases. Two young people saw I was in trouble and held me upright. I grabbed for Cowboy’s hat but missed and it went sailing down the street. Cowboy started to run after it and a second bag in our cart lifted up and emptied out on the street. I could see his cowboy hat caught on an outdoor display and thankfully held solid. I yelled, but he couldn’t hear me in the roar of the storm.
Then, the wind took my glasses. Wait a minute. I need those, but they were flying toward Sam’s Club faster than a Scottish dancer could do their Highland Fling. The young man who helped me was thought I was a goner and held me upright and the two of us did the Texas two-step, chasing for my glasses down the street. A car entered the parking lot and my glasses lay in its path, but he screeched to a halt, wondering what in the Sam Hill Waltz I was doing. Cowboy found his hat, and we made it back to the car while I sheltered in the store’s portico until he rescued me. FYI, the wind was so furious that I couldn’t open the car door.
Next stop was next door to Sam’s Club. They had closed the front doors because of the wind, so we continued to dance to the side door, dodging other people who were dancing the same dance. We only had a few items on our list and all was well in the store, but we started back to the car, accompanied by nine ladies dancing, trying to stay erect. They did all types of dances: Salsa, Swing, Polka, Tango, and the Cha-Cha-Cha. Almost anything you can imagine.
It was quite a storm and the ride home was equally terrifying. Cowboy’s a great driver, but not everyone is. We returned home safely to a bowl of chicken soup. Our wind monitor read 44 MPH sustained winds, which will knock old people down.
Thank you, young couple, whoever you were for helping me retrieve my glasses and keeping me upright!
Tomorrow the Cowboy will indulge me with ten lords a-leaping. OMG,
Books: All my books are available on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited. We are thinking about trying Audible…let me know if you like the idea of talking books!
