Wrinkly Bits Blog

Toe Fetish

Toe Fetish

I’ve had a lot of questions about my dog Wag. He is coming along fine, for a teenager. You remember how 14-year-old boys are, moody, cranky, without direction or purpose, and most of all, incapable...

The G Word

The G Word

Gravity is a wonderful thing, it holds us to the ground, keeps cars on the road, puts poop in the commode, all the right things, but recently I have found that it is affecting me in ways I had never...

Ten Percent Tuesdays

Ten Percent Tuesdays

As a senior, Tuesdays are especially important days. I know what you’re thinking: Yes! Hooray for Taco Tuesday. Nope. For me, it's 10 Percent Tuesday. Hot damn! A 10 percent discount on the majority...

Hurray for Velcro!

Hurray for Velcro!

I learned shoe tying in grammar school, maybe first grade, and tied my oxfords and tennies all these years, never thinking about it. I struggled to learn how to tie my shoes and am sure my laces...

A Hot Dating Site

A Hot Dating Site

I bought a car last year, a nice one that I’ve wanted for a long time. My kids say they are worried that I’ll wreck it and get hurt, but I know them better than that…they want my cute little car for...

A New Man in the House

A New Man in the House

I wanted a dog, but not a puppy, so I bargained with a friend for a dog I had never seen and now I have Wag, a golden retriever. He is a beautiful dog, and I suppose I’ll grow to love him, if I...

God Bless Our Daily Fix-its

God Bless Our Daily Fix-its

White, yellow, blue, pink One, one and a half, two, daily, alternate days Morning, noon, night, before or after meals With food, without food Round, oblong, capsule   You know what I’m talking...

A Walk on the Beach

A Walk on the Beach

In January, my sister-in-law and I cruised through Panama Canal to visit several other island nations and took the opportunity to walk on the beach, practice our deteriorating Spanish, and renew...

Here We Have Idaho

Here We Have Idaho

I’m a native Idahoan and proud of it. I’ve lived in seven other states (California, Florida, North Carolina, Connecticut, Nevada, Texas, and Virginia) but my heart’s bungee cord always snaps me back...

Women of a Certain Age

Women of a Certain Age

I recently became a woman of a certain age. I don’t know what that means, but I got an email advising me of the concept or fact, whichever it is. I wonder what the certain age is, exactly, to escort...

Three Cheers for Chicken!

Three Cheers for Chicken!

I once was a school principal. And when I say, “once,” I mean for years and years. Hanging out with kids all day, trying to ensure they actually learned something, wasn’t exactly a picnic in the...

Snots!

Snots!

Three weeks of social isolation and quarantine have been a mixed bag for those of us lucky enough to be well. Some of us are managing it okay (hey! I didn’t know I had so many different pajama...

Time Marches On!

Time Marches On!

The concept of time has always eluded me. Each of us has 24 hours a day, with 60 minutes in each hour, but now that I have retired, I’m even more perplexed. I wake up around 8 and go to bed around...

My Mother, Marie Kondo

My Mother, Marie Kondo

My mother was born too early. If she had been born in the right year, she would have given Marie Kondo a good run, tidying up everybody’s home, tossing whatever didn’t bring her joy. The problem is...

Launch Pad

Launch Pad

I decided to purchase a lift chair, now known as my launch pad, thinking it will alleviate pressure on my oh-so-aching knees. You know the one I mean: it’s a chair, that with the poke of a button,...

It’s Hard

It’s Hard

Being on virtual house arrest is a pain in the patootie. You’ve probably seen the movie Honey, I Shrunk the Kids…well, it’s Gail, Covid-19 Shrank the House. But before I sound like I’m feeling sorry...

Hunkering Down

Hunkering Down

  I’ve been asked a dozen times in the last two days if I’m hunkering down and my first thought was, of course I’m hunkering down, we are all sort of under house arrest and hunkering down is exactly...

Duck and Cover

Duck and Cover

I haven’t done the earthquake jitterbug since 1983 when I was on the second floor of the old Emmett High School. The instructions drilled in my head back then (for air raids as well as earthquakes)...

Wine, Bees, Scissors…and Wine

Wine, Bees, Scissors…and Wine

    Since 1996, I have been cutting my husband’s hair without a license. (Please don’t call the hair police because I didn’t charge him, although he always gave me a tip. Ooh la la!) I did it for...

Invisible Me!

Invisible Me!

I think I’m invisible!   It started with the ears and has jumped to the rest of me. When my kids were little, they ignored me. Now that they’re grown, they are more polite about it, but mostly they...

Fine and Dandy

Fine and Dandy

I got up early this morning, looked out and guess what! The sky was blue, and the temperature was a perfect 70 degrees with no wind. (Okay, I didn’t get up with the chickens, but who cares because I...