Wrinkly Bits
A Blog by Gail Cushman and Cowboy Bob
We’ve been on this voyage for about two weeks, time enough to do a lot of things, like learning the difference between port and starboard, bow and stern, watching the ocean, which apparently has no fish or wildlife, because despite my continual sea watching, I have seen only a couple of sea animals. We have seen birds aplenty, however. We also spend a fair amount of time eating.
Yesterday, Cowboy and I did some serious people-watching. I used to call it “drinking wine by the swimming pool,” but Cowboy nixed that and we now call it people watching. Wink, wink. This ship has about 800 crew and 2,000 guests, Cowboy calls them my closest friends. Here are some of the tidbits we have noticed.
More than half of the guests are women and on a cruise ship, the matriarchal structure is solidly in place. Women are in control and the male is subservient and she can pull him around as if he were a bull with a ring on his nose. She points, he goes, then… “Sit there. Not there, dummy, over here, closer to the window, now close those shades.” He complies. She says, “I forgot my book,” and off he goes, or “I need another glass of wine,” and his hand pops up, now signaling one of the waiters. “Yes, Dear, whatever you say, Dear.”
We see this with all kinds of couples. In older couples, the women are well-practiced and don’t have to say much, just a quick gesture or a nod of the head, and off their spouse goes, doing her bidding, no questions asked. He just knows. In couples with an older man and a younger woman (obviously his very attractive niece), she didn’t even need to gesture. He was on it, even clearing out lounge chairs to make her comfortable.
As we watched people parading through the swimming area, going from one dining area to the next, or grazing as the Cowboy says, we noticed, that women were always in the lead, not because their mate was well-bred and gracious, but because she knew where they were going and he didn’t. It was obvious, so obvious.
With younger couples, the female is learning and sometimes needs to do prep work. We heard from the male, “Dressy night, come on, let’s get a burger instead of getting all gussied up. You want cheese or no cheese?” The resultant stink eye from his companion is enough to peel paint and we can only imagine what will happen later. Probably something like “Fine, whatever!” He then tries to figure out what he said this time and knows he has lost again. As he pleads, she sees an opening and says something like, “I saw these pearls, perfect for my little black dress tonight, let’s stop on deck 2 and pick them up on the way. And no, you cannot wear shorts,” followed by, “Of course, Dear.”
On this cruise, languages have been fun to pay attention to. We have met people from Germany, Holland, Belgium, England, Australia, New Zealand, Indonesia, Japan, Mexico, Scotland, plus many Americans, but we think non-Americans outnumber Americans. When we speak to someone new, we cannot assume they speak English. Most do, thankfully, but it isn’t a sure thing and because of this, one generally is very considerate of political discourse, meaning no politics. Of course, there are those who wear their politics on their sleeves or tee shirts and what can you say, except “Duh.”
Many women are alone or with other women, I suppose they are widowed or divorced or maybe they left their other half home, taking care of the dog or cleaning the gutters or perhaps they don’t like cruises. Some younger “alone” women show up at dance classes, the casino, or whiskey sampling. “Singles’ group meet-and-greets” generally have a great time, however, I do wonder about the woman who is trolling the swimming pool one languid step at a time with a cute umbrella drink in one hand and her key card stuck in her bikini top, wearing heart-shaped sunglasses as she peruses the crop of men not under leash.
“Cowboy, a glance is ok, but you are not judging cattle show, so get those baby blues back where they belong.”
“Yes ma’am.”
