Wrinkly Bits
A Blog by Gail Cushman
Swans are big, water-based birds, nearly five feet long, and at first glance, graceful, loving (they mate for life, unless they get a divorce, apparently because of lack of childbearing ability, i.e. sterility), so says Dr. Google. They are huge, nearly five feet, the biggest bird in America, or at least in Stillwater County. And mean. Meaner than a junkyard dog.
According to the song, Cowboy is bringing me seven swans a swimming. Really? First of all, where are they going to swim, that’s what I am asking. We have a jacuzzi but that’s not going to work. Maybe for one swan, but not for seven for heaven’s sake. Besides being big, they hiss and bite. They lay five eggs at a time, and perch on them for 45 days, hatching into cygnets, a word that defies all the rules of English because it should be signets, not cygnets. Seven swans, each hatching 5 eggs, 35 cygnets, meaning 42 swans. Good grief! We would have to build an Olympic size pool. And what about the other 21 birds you already gave me? 28 birds…let’s see, by my calculation, the seven swans and their offspring would make 49 birds you have given me, unless the swans got mad and killed the partridges, turtle doves, French hens, calling birds, and geese, which is a possibility with mean swans.
So, Cowboy, may I suggest a kinder, gentler gift for your lovely, young bride. On the seventh day we rest. Forget the swans or any more birds. Let’s take leave of all the birds and rest. All these birds are wearing me out.
Tomorrow, we start anew, with eight maids a-milking. But…careful now, Cowboy, I’ve seen some of those Montana Milking Maids.
Swans are lovebirds. With this blog, I invite you to take a look at Loving Again, A Guide to Online Dating for Widows and Widowers. If you are alone or know someone alone, give it a try. Take a chance on Loving Again! Both the book and the romance! Available at gailcushman.com or through Amazon.com
